The 16 year old

“That there will always be someone to help us hear the music in the world, to remind us that it won’t always be this way”.

I’m a teenager. We’re all just kids, with raging thoughts and spiraling emotions. I don’t know what to do with these at times, so I write them down. I feel like I think too much into stuff or that maybe I react too much, but those ‘Too Much’ moments, remind me of how I will never ever lose control of who I am. How when I find myself overwhelmed with emotion over a piece of music or a piece of writing, it’s this secret part of me that I like to keep to myself. I was born in a magic time, in a magic town…amongst magicians. The friendships that we learn to believe in and those little things that we learn to appreciate, really do mean everything. As unappealing as that may sound next to a very successful life with all the luxuries and things you could wish for, it’s true. What scares you more, not being able to achieve everything you ever wished for, or achieving it and realizing it’s  not enough? When either of those things happen or even if they don’t happen, these are the moments, memories and laughs that we will remember.

When in school, a lot of things govern how we act and how we behave, many of these being so superficial, that once you step away a little and really see it all, it just seems so absurd. The girl who could go on and on about the latest policy launched by the government makes you jealous, the girl who wears that short skirt so beautifully also makes you jealous, so does the guy whose hair is as perfect as a fucking Picasso piece, and so do the people who are so perfectly imperfect and they don’t even try. All of that makes you jealous and angry and a little sad and there are so many ways that people respond to this in. One of it could be to bring that handgun to school and end it, or cut yourself and end it, or scream and end it, or  build yourself and start something new. There are so many things that can be done.

As tiny and irrelevant as our issues may seem today, they mean the world to us. Which is precisely why there exists a phenomenon known as ‘Student Suicide’. Things that I find serving injustice are ones that appear natural to them and the things that feel so justified and right to me are the things they fight against. But, amidst all this, it is those moments when the awkward pain in the stomach fades away and there is a confusing but welcomed feeling of happy that appears, it does, it always does. Sometimes I wish that everyone knew, that in this world full of grey and spin and compromise, if you choose to do something wrong and you prey on good people when you do, someone will stand up to you. Someone will take a stand and fight back. Fight back with anyone or anything that seems wrong, because even though we may have the real wrongs a little wrong, but once we learn how to fight at all, the wrongs will fall in the right places.

It is when we learn to accept that this is it, the moment that will be embedded in our mind for a very, very, very long time that we know the true value of those stolen glances, breathless laughter and unforgettable stories. Those are the things that matter the most, not the Championship trophy, but the bus ride that took you there, not the scholar award, but the number of pep talks and breakdowns that helped you reach there.

This may seem way too much abstract and vague coming from a 16 year old, but this is the abstract and vague that keeps this 16 year old awake for nights and nights, it is now that this 16 year old has learned to appreciate every single thing and refused to take anything for granted. Anything. You never know when you cannot say your Thank you anymore or when the time has run out for you to say that sorry. This 16 year old knows that now, and is grateful for it.

“Because in the end, the love you make is equal to the love you take.”.